My Instagram search box spells out success clear in worldly terms. Yachts, Ferraris, Caribbean vacations, and a modern mountain home built over a river (Out of all these, I could go for that one).  That’s the life, right? I thought this would be the life. “If only…. If only… If only….” That is what I used to think. If only this or that would happen in my future, then all would be well. I would be successful – like it’s some sort of club you get in and they send you a welcome letter – saying “Hello and Welcome to the Success Club: Your life is now a magical place filled with whatever you desire.”

In my short time here on earth, I have had a little bit of a shift in my life that doesn’t put these as high priorities on my list. It’s not that going 200 MPH in a Ferrari would not be fun (I would like to attend a racing school one day), it’s just not a big deal for me if I ever do. Fun – Yes. Necessary for me to feel fulfilled – No.

What about showing up for work, going home to work around the house, putting my kids to bed, and then watching an episode of The Office with my wife for a laugh before bed? Does that sound successful? Not exhilarating enough to meet worldly success criteria? So, what does magical word success really mean? Is our company successful? Do we have to hit a certain amount of revenue or size to be considered a success?

I think success goes deeper; it’s what you are doing with what you’ve got. It’s about contributing, making life better for someone else, having some fun, having choices, and giving of yourself.

• Are you contributing in some way? Maybe you work a job to produce the income for your family. Maybe it’s raising your children. Maybe it’s availability to help someone else when they need it.  Is the work you are doing producing good in some way? Are people better because of what you are doing?
• Are you having fun? I think having fun is a key to feeling successful. If you are not having fun in your marriage, work or relationships you are probably not achieving success in those roles. A little bit of chicken and the egg here, but what do you think comes first – the success and then you will be happy or are you happy and grateful, and then the success is the result? Here is a hint. From the most fulfilled people, I know, it’s the latter.
• Choices and Freedoms. Now we all have responsibilities and timelines to work with, but anyone reading this has plenty of options in your life. We have so many that we can’t even make up our minds. I can prove it. If you have ever said “What show/movie should we watch on Netflix?” or “Where should we eat tonight?” you are blessed with many freedoms.  Even beyond that, it’s easy to make excuses for limitations in our life because we don’t want to find a way. We find excuses in our children, our work, and the #1 excuse – just not enough time. It’s not about time; it’s about priorities.
  • An example of this is my kid’s bedtime routine. This is 1.5 – 2 hours of time each night. I can’t do anything about this – they need baths, teeth brushed, books, counting, ABC’s, prayers, tucked in. Throw in some running around the house naked after baths, and it just takes this much time. At this stage of life, they need a lot of assistance to go through this whole process. So what do I do?  I try to enjoy it and love it. This is the season of life I am in right now. I get to do baths with them for such a short season of their life. Maybe till 5, 6 or 7, (I don’t know how long this actual goes on for. I do know that at 30 my parents don’t give me baths anymore.) So why fight it, why wish it was easier, or think, “I don’t want to do this tonight.” It’s awesome I get to do this. I bet any person who has adult children looks back and remembers all the fun around bed time and bath time when their children were young, or if they were not around for it, wish they would have been part of it more. So, have fun in the season of life you are in. You only get one chance. You get to choose how you approach this. God has you in the right place for right now for a reason.
• Are you a giver of your love? If you are a taker or consumer and not giving love back, you are going to be grumpy and not feel very successful. We have all heard it, and it still resonates today, it is more blessed to give than to receive.

I know all sorts of successful people in a variety of roles and responsibilities. It’s not a magical destination; it’s a way you live your life right now.  If you are reading this, I think you are successful in some way too.  Don’t let the world tell you what success is. It’s your choice how you pursue success. When you play by your own rules, you are more likely to win the game.

Heard. Watched. Read. 

• “Excellence is hard to define but easily recognizable.”
• “The decisions we make today determine the stories we tell tomorrow.”
• “The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, and labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide where he is working or playing. To him, he is always doing both.” – James Michener
• “Be willing to call out your teammates if something is not right (with respect).” – Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.