The boys were playing outside in the plastic pool. I had set them up with a pool full of water and a slide to get in. I had done the work, and now it was time to let them play. Earlier in the day I started a podcast episode and thought while they play I could listen to this. A win-win I thought. I’m a good dad, AND I get to hear his episode. But if only it were that easy.

What I forgot to remember is at their age (2 and 4), you still need to be in active participation. You can’t just ‘set them up and let them go.’ Only 5 minutes in and they need a towel, one of them swallows some water, they are asking for a particular toy. I found myself needing to pause my phone, rewind certain parts and adjusting so much to accommodate the boys that listening to the podcast was putting me into a reactive – stop, go, stop,  state. I had tried something like this before, and now remembering my frustration from a previous incident almost identical to this, I paused the podcast and focused on the boys. At that moment being with the boys was my number one priority, and I was able to give them more of myself by being present and being their friend, instead of trying to do it all.

In my attempt to ‘make the most of the moment’;  Be a good dad and listen to the podcast, I was doing a crappy job on both.  While intently listening to the podcast my attention would not be on the boys, and while interacting and being with the boys, my attention couldn’t make anything of the words from the podcast interview. My mind was switching back and forth, back and forth. A lot of energy and focus just fizzling out with no actual benefit. In a spot where I wanted to get more done, I was indeed less efficient.

So instead of always thinking – we need to be doing something. Let’s find out how effective we are with what’s in front of us, rather than how much we are doing. It’s when we look intentionally at our work, and in our relationships, we can focus on doing the things that are bringing value to our lives and others.

Heard. Watched. Read.