Our Misson – Building an Amazing Company that Impacts People and Concrete.

Our company and people are in a good groove right now. I hear that we enjoy spending time together and are friendly to each other. That is great. Those team dynamics are important to do fulfilling work and keep work from being a drudge. At the same time, being friendly doesn’t guarantee the best results.The fear in this is that in our happy-go-lucky mindset we choose passivity over results. We allow bad work to happen rather than discuss it and bring it to light for fear someone may not like us or get mad at us.

If someone is not playing up to our capabilities, we neither need to come down on them or passively tell them it’s ok. We need to understand that sometimes we need each other to work at a higher level. We are just as unique as the leaves that are falling from the trees right now. We each have strengths and other areas where others can bring out the best in us. To improve each other and for ‘iron to sharpen iron’ we will sometimes need to speak to others about their performance in the team. We need to be courageous in our hearts and speak truth with our words. The best teams can speak to each other in this way. The best speak with Truth and Courage and a tad of Grace.

I see four different communication styles play out. These will look and work differently based on the reasoning for the relationship between two people. In our organization, The Purpose is to Achieve a Result – to reach a goal. We work together to achieve an agreed-upon vision. By working here – you sign up to be a part of this. The four styles of communication I see are:

Truth and Courage with some Grace. To work towards excellence, we need to speak with other in Truth and Courage. Truth with courage is having the steadiness of mind and heart to speak to people about where they may be falling short of expectations and have the desire to help bring them up. The little bit of grace is knowing we are all unique and bring different strengths to each part of a team. This grace allows people to be human, yet still operate with standards.

Fear Hiding in Truth. We all know someone who seems to be bold with their truth and speak what is on their mind or ‘tell it how it is.’ That person is actually just a butthead. They MAY speak the truth, but they do it with fear. Their insecurities show with their comments. This type of communication doesn’t attempt to help – even when the other person says “Sometimes they just need to hear it straight.” This type of communication says more about the communicator than the receiver of the message.

Grace. Grace is allowing something to happen without your need to change it or offer input. Grace is accepting everyone to be imperfect and not fulfill a perfect model. If you know someone is sick and their performance is a little weak, you give them grace. You don’t need to chat with them about it. You pick up the slack and keep moving. If someone continues not to perform to expectations and you wear yourself out picking up the slack, or it affects overall performance, it turns into fear hiding in grace.

Fear Hiding in Grace. Fear hiding in grace passively allowing things to happen without taking action. It’s in grace with fear we may never confront the person, yet we talk to others about this person. Grace with fear is where gossip and resentment live.

For better clarity, let’s work through the example of someone showing up late to work and what a conversation would look like with different dynamics with a new team member, Peter Parker (Spiderman). Spiderman has recently moved to Fort Wayne from New York as he fell in love with a small-town girl who wants to live close to her parents in Fort Wayne. He’s a little tired of fighting super-human villains and looking to find a fulfilling career in concrete polishing. But, Peter is used to a schedule involving night long fights and saving the city. This early morning start is very new to him.

Let’s see how these conversations could play out with Peter and myself as he adjusts to our team. You can decipher yourself which one may be the most effective.

Fear Hiding in Truth
“Peter – you are always late. Why can’t you make it to work on-time? This isn’t New York! If you can’t figure out how to make it to work on-time, you can just find a new job.”

Fear Hiding in Grace
Peter shows up to work late again. I mumble under my breath as I walk by someone else and then later in the day complain to another team member about how Peter is always late. I never actually confront Pete directly but passively stir up anger and resentment. I think to myself – “He’s just been a superhero too long. He may never understand timeliness. I bet if Iron Man were here he would show up on time.”

Full Grace
I’m so excited to have Spiderman be on our team that I let him do whatever he wants. “Who cares when he shows up – he’s Spiderman.” My boys love coming to the shop and give him high-fives, so he has free reign to do whatever he wants. (Not an efficient way to run an excellent organization.) The other team members start wondering why they don’t get special treatment and the organization as a whole, losses its culture of timeliness.

  • NOTE: Full Grace can be a good solution in the home, where the relationship is not based on achieving goals and instead is based on a relationship and love. If your spouse seems to leave the light on when they leave the room, you might just accept it. It probably cost $3 in electricity per year to leave that light on. If you start nagging to them about all these little things like this you could find yourself paying a counselor $80 an hour to complain to them about it. Not a good move.

Truth and Courage with some Grace
“Hey Peter, I noticed that you had been late a few times this week. I know it’s probably a big switch in your life right now. How is the transition going? Part of our reputation for clients is being on-time. We want to present that same timeliness to our team as well. The guys are counting on you to be here on time, so we can load up and head out for the day. When you are late, it slows the whole team up. Can we make sure this starts to happen?”

Catch yourself in your communication and see where you trend towards. If we want to achieve extraordinary things we must help each other work to our standards. An OK team has a leader who has these Truth and Courage conversations, while the best of the best teams have these among themselves.

Have some feedback from your own experiences with Truth, Courage, Fear, and Grace? Please email me back and let me know how it has worked for you.

Heard. Watched. Read.